Lovers in a Dangerous Time
by Nymph Du Pave
Summary: Slash: Clark. Lex. Song lyrics every now and then [I'm sorry!] Got another challenge in the mail. Answered it. Very short. Lol. This sucks. It has to be the worst thing that I have ever written, and yet I post. I'm just bright like that. Hope someone
1. Story

TITLE: Lovers in a Dangerous Time   
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave   
FANDOM: Smallville   
PAIRING: Lex Luthor/Clark Kent.   
RATING: R   
SUMMARY: I got another challenge. This one was particularly endearing, lol.   
DISCLAIMER: The WB, DC Comics, MillarGoughInk, Tolin, Robbins, and Davola [along with whomever else] own this wonderfully cute show. I am merely borrowing the characters to use in my own evil ways and will try to return them as mentally cognizant and stable as when I took them [with the exception of the incredibly handsome and elegant Michael Rosenbaum of whom I might never let go ;)], but I can't make any promises. The Muse controls these fingers.   
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Most of the requests/challenges I get are, well, kinda vague. If they don't have to do with stories that I am already working on, or sequels, it's usually 'why don't you write another sexy DSSCTM story?' or 'write something with Lex as the dom'. Not very descriptive, you know? But finally comes one that is, um, too descriptive? And NOT in a _sexy_, 'oh my god, I feel like a perve reading this letter' way. To see the letter that inspired this fic, please check the next chapter. ONLY AFTER READING THIS FIC. It could spoil the, uh, surprises. Actually, you know, if you can't make it through the fic [and I don't blame you] please check the letter [second chapter] anywho! Thank you.   
FEEDBACK: Please. I am beyond interested in what people might think about this. Please read it first and _then_ the letter. This way you can appreciate me, _then_ realize that I have not a creative bone in my body and have taken all this from the email.   
AUTHOR'S EMAIL: nymph_du_pave@hotmail.com 

* * *

**Lovers in a Dangerous Time**   
**by Nymph Du Pave**

_don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by..._   
_you never get to stop and open our eyes_

Lex wasn't sure he was seeing right. Across from him was Clark, tied up and- but… 

This had to be a dream. There was no way that Clark was wearing what Lex thought he saw the boy wearing. 

_one minute you're waiting for the sky to fall_

The last thing he remembered was Clark rushing into his bedroom as soon as Lex had changed into his boxers -- nevermind how Clark got in the house in the first place -- and the farmboy was telling him something and Lex couldn't help but _not_ know- 

_and next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all_

-because of the way that Clark's chest was bare and the boy was soaked. Really. With something that pretty in front of him. How was he supposed to concentrate? 

_lovers in a dangerous time_

Evil laughter filled the air. 

_lovers in a dangerous time_

Lex was sure he was still dreaming because not only was Clark dressed weird but he was acting weird. 

"Let us go, evildoer! Let us be! Untie my love and let him go." 

**--My love?--**

Clark looked over to him and blushed. "Oh, you're awake. Sorry, I have to-" 

"Hey! I'm not through with you!" Came a shout and Lex almost had a heart attack. It was loud, it was deep and, god, it was BIG. 

_lovers in a dangerous time_

The last thing Lex had remembered -- before Clark and the, well, BIG thing -- was suddenly having this urge to tell a bare-chested and sodden Clark that he loved him, wanted him, and really, could you take me right here on the floor? He didn't remember the wardrobe changing. Originally it was a torn and faded pair of jeans and, well, nothing. The cut lines of Clark's hips and abs had been more than prominent, but now? Now he was... 

Lex bit his lip. Clark _couldn't_ be wearing that. 

"You will all die! Mwah-ha-ha-ha! You will-" 

He couldn't wait. "Clark." 

The BIG, loud, mean bad guy looked pissed -- as all BIG, loud, mean bad guys do when you interrupt them, he supposed -- but right how he really didn't care. 

_lovers in a dangerous time_

Clark looked at him patiently as a caring parent would a restless and eager but tolerant child. "Yes, Lex?" 

He bit his lip again then sighed. No. This couldn't wait. "Why are you wearing a pink tutu several sizes too small?" 

He decided it was best not to mention the fact that, yes, Clark was indeed exposed because, oh, what a glorious exposed bit it was. 

_these fragile bodies of touch and taste_

Clark looked down and seemed surprised to find himself clad in frily lace and soft-looking satin. "Um… You know, Lex. I'm not quite sure." 

The evil laughter filled the air. "I make all my victims wear one!" 

Lex felt suddenly gypped. "So, how come I'm not wearing one?" 

The BIG, loud, mean bad guy looked chagrined. "Well, you see, I ran out at the last moment and really, I had only intended to grab you, but then this one came along to save you and-" 

"So _he_ gets the tutu?" 

There was a moment of silence and then both Clark and the BIG, loud, mean bad guy said in unison, "What?" 

"_He gets the tutu_?!" 

The BIG, loud, mean bad guy scratched his head. "Well, I'll be d- You know, you're not supposed to _want_ to wear the blas-" 

"Excuse me!" Lex was Lex and if he was not center spotlight in his own kidnapping, he was not happy. "This is a joke right?" 

The BIG, loud, mean bad guy looked confused. "Uh, no. No joke." 

"Then why is Clark wearing the tutu and not me? I mean, originally, I was the one you were going to kidnap. Right." 

"Yeah." 

"Then, why aren't I wearing it?" 

"Well, because he's prettier." 

_this vibrant skin -- this hair like lace_

Lex rolled his eyes. "Well, duh!" 

Clark looked at him, eyes softening. "You think I'm pretty?" he whispered. 

Before Lex could answer, the BIG, loud, mean bad guy snapped the waistband of his boxers. "And you already came with your own weird underthings." 

Lex looked down to his boxers, then back up, holding his chin high. "I happen to like Sonic the Hedgehog, thank you. Care to show us your underwear?" 

Clark cleared his throat. "Sorry to interrupt you, Lex, but really, to get back to the point-" 

"Actually," The BIG, loud, mean bad guy started to pull down his pants. "I prefer the Power Rangers, but I can't find any nowadays of the original cast, so I wear Power Puff Girl undies. I liked Trini." 

Lex struggled forward against his bonds to look at the underwear. "Nice but are you sure that pink is your color? It's kind of clashing with the neon green of your skin." 

"You know I had wondered about that. Do you think that beige would work better?" 

"No. I'd go with neon yellow or orange." 

"Really? I've kinda wanted to stray from the-" 

"Sorry to interrupt!" shouted Clark. He got their attention. "Aren't you supposed to be the evil-doer here?" 

The BIG, loud, mean bad guy turned to him. "Yes! That's right. No more underwear talk." 

The next thing Lex knew there was tape on his lips, his bonds were tighter and the BIG, loud, mean bad guy was running away, stomping away, making evil stomping noises - or as evil a noise as a stomp could be. 

_spirits open to the thrust of grace___

"Don't worry!" Clark said. "I'll get you out of this." 

Meanwhile, Lex was thinking how very much the BIG, loud, mean bad guy's skin looked like the meteor rocks. 

"Hey, Lex?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Could you conviently knock yourself out for a moment?" 

"You need me to not see something and be suspiscious about the manner in which you saved me?" 

Clark sighed. "I can't get out of that last part, can I?" 

_never a breath you can afford to waste_

"Wanna abbrieviate this?" 

"Please?" 

Lex bit his lip and thought about it for a moment. "Care to tell me the truth?" 

"Can't." 

"Alright then. No can do." 

"Sorry." 

Lex shrugged, pulled his head forward then slammed it backwards into what he discovered to be mattress lining. Luckily, since his head is naturally weak [but coincidentally strong] and made of clay [very resilent clay, the author must add] he passed out. 

**black**   
**black**   
**black**   
**black**   
**black**   
**black**   
**black**   
**black**   
**black**   
**black******

Lex awoke to the BIG, loud, mean bad guy knocked unconscious [oh, come one! the whole 'Smallvillites Easily Knocked Unconscious Syndrome' is so that no one knows his secret, _including _most of the bad guys; right?] and stood up, kneading his head and neck [because THAT'S what someone with a fractured or brusied skull and abused tendons should do immediately after the injury; not that constantly RUBBING and TOUCHING the affected area would **_FUCKING HURT OR ANYTHING!!!_**] and walking towards Clark. 

"Wow, Clark. I'm amazed. You saved my life again. I-" 

"Yeah, Lex, you know... I'm exhausted, uninterested in Lana and not getting any. Basically that means I hate this trite, repeated dialogue and story structure, I'm gay, and I wanna jump your ass. Can we just kiss and as soon as the PG-13 censor is off go fuck like the horny, sexy, mouth-watering, sex-fiends we are?" 

Lex nodded. "Yeah." 

"Great." 

**_]]]Wonderful, gay, sexy man-on-man kissing that we know we what to see but that ONLY happens in the trailers/closets/cars/janitor's offices/bathrooms, etc during the breaks. PLEASE SOMEONE CATCH IT ON FILM!!! Alison, Kristin, Eric: you know you want it! You know you have tapes! You know you could make millions selling them ONLINE! DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!!!![[[_**

[...and now away from the crazy lady; only the gods and goddesses know how she got an internet connection...] 

Lex pulled back, his lips bruised, his groin stiff, and his hand on various parts of Clark's anatomy. "You know..." 

"What?" Clark asked hotly. 

"You're pretty fucking hot in that little tutu..."   


_When you're lovers in a dangerous time,_   
_sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime,_   
_but nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight,_   
_got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight._   
  
  
  
  
  
  


**FIN**   
**[I sincerely hope...]**


	2. Letter

[**published with permission from: **sterling_saint@hotmail.com]   
_Hey Nymph,___

_I'm in a hurry so Im sorry if this is rushed and reads bad but you told me to be more descriptive so here goes.___

_Okay I donno if ya can do this, but if ya can I would really apreciate it.___

_Okay. Something with Lex tied up and Clark is too and (but he's in a tutu) and Lex cant talk becase hes got this tape on his mouth but he doesn't the hole time, just enar the end.Then the bad guy could to be in the justice league show (cuz I know you watch that and all) and but he's not important really. There has ot be Sonic the Hedgehog underware and Clark is in a tutu. There get away and Lex really thinks Clark is hot in the tutu and Clark is like what the f---? Im in a tutu" you know?___

_lol___

_Anyway, so its something like that and but it doesn't have to be serious, you know. Happy ending and no angst. under 2500 wds. Just humor and fluff.And you can add your own stuff. But all this had to take place___

_I have weird dreams, you know?___

_Anna___

_ps could you make it a songfic?_

Folks… How could I refuse? Really. Lol, I mean this is the weirdest… I don't know. Jeez. Okay, well, I gotta do it. How can I not? 

After I saw the songfic part I went straight to the Aquabats because if you have ever heard any of their songs [Cat with Two Heads, Martian Girl, Captian Hampton and the Midget Pirates [my personal fave] or Canis Lupis] you know they're fucking WEIRD. I thought they probably would have written a song that would have fit perfectly. But alas… 

So I've gone with the Barenaked Ladies song, Lovers in a Dangerous Time. 

+_+_+_+_+ 

Coincidentally, Lyle happened to find the letter funnier than the fic [so do I] and actually choked on ice while reading it. He made me laugh so hard that I cried and actually snorted three times. A little harder and my insides would have been coming out of my ass [*gasp* _that_ was unlady-like]! 

He thinks that Anna tried to come up with the most unworkable plot-line possible, and Anna agrees that that does sound like something she'd do. She loved my the fic [honestly, I don't know why] and told me I had better post it on ff.net. Sigh. Lol. There go all my readers. 

Please, please, please, forgive me!!   



End file.
